The Home Syndrome

If any of you are faithful readers to yeahsureright.blogspot.com, you will know that my sister, Betty Lou, blogged about an incident involving a kitchen area and me being a horrible little Mer and Bogarting the toy and acting really, really, bratty not wanting anyone else to touch it. To me, this makes perfect sense. It was my present, after all. Looking back, however, I'm sure my behavior was less than reputable. I make amends now: I am sorry for acting a fool during my birthday party a.k.a. "THE KITCHEN AREA INCIDENT." This brings me to my post for today. Betty Lou also says in her post that seeing me living on my own and in a committed relationship with someone I actually really love is surprising. She says I must have mellowed, except for when I visit Colorado, I just revert back to my old habits: Sore loser, embittered, etc. Admittedly, I will always be a sore loser (no one like to lose), but anyone who knows me in my real life here in the city knows that I am far from angry, mean, or bitter. It's something about "going home again" that makes everyone revert back to their childhood personality. I don't know what it is about being around their parents and siblings, but it happens to everyone. Case in point, Mom. When I visited CO in July, we all (as a family) went to Missouri (or Misery) to visit's AM's (Amazing Mom's) parents. True to this theory, as soon as AM was placed in the presence of her younger sister, she immediately became a teenager again. It just goes to show you, you can be married, have three adult children complete with dogs and a house and the whole bit, but get in front of the people you grew up with, you become a kid again. Whoever said youth is wasted on the young just haven't been visiting their siblings enough.
I have found that in front of my family, I do change, and not in a good way. I have this whole other life in SF, and I am really mellow, calm, and nice. I'm centered and happy. People like me, I'm good at my job, I have friends who care about me. I have AG, who I love more than anything in the world, and who would do anything for me (I'd do anything for her too). But get me in front of my family, I am moody, impatient, and generally annoyed. After about 4 days (1 if there are board games involved), I have had enough and all that great grown-up progress is tossed out the window and I am back in high school. This makes me look really bad, and is basically 20 steps back in my life-long journey of proving to my parents that I am not a screw-up and that I am capable of being on my own and being an adult. I don't know what I am trying to prove, but eventually my CO self will permanently become my SF self (my true self). Maybe after AG and I get married and have a little Mer of our own. Only time will tell. ;)